Man: Hullo.
Woman: Hi.
(Pause.)
Woman: You must be British. You say 'hello' with a 'u' where the 'e' should be.
Man: You must be American. You say 'hullo' with an 'i' where the 'u-l-l-o' should be.
------ Cambridge Spies, Part III.
Man, whoever is responsible for the episode breakdown of the "How I Met Your Mother" DVDs is wicked good at his/her job. I want the next DVD now!
Of course, I had to rent out the most cliffhanger-y DVD of the whole bunch from Blockbuster.
...but I have a three-hour disc of "Cambridge Spies" that I really want to watch.
Also, I wanted to post about the progress of the Gay.com TV Blog. I was worried for a while, what with the non-proofreading-ness of the other bloggers, and the incredibly cheesy masthead of the site, and the paucity of comments on the posts to date, but apparently it's generated 50,000 clicks between last Thursday's launch and Sunday afternoon. Regardless of how you slice it, 50,000 in four days is still a pretty impressive number.
Of course, I still wish the others proofread, and I still wish the masthead could be changed, and I still wish more readers left comments, but, eh - 50,000. 50,000!
...my search for a good LGBT film has yielded a positive result.
Of all those that I have seen, Just A Question Of Love is head and shoulders above the rest. Despite its incredibly hokey translated title - the film is French in origin - it is class and quality through and through.
Of course, since I absolutely loved this film, I've also done substantial Googling on it, and I don't think I can do better than quote this review wholesale; my own minor comments are at the end:
Just a Question of Love started off as a television movie made in France, then became a critic's darling and a staple of the Gay and Lesbian film festival circuit. It's a coming out story—and I was dreading reviewing yet another movie where a gay man has to come to terms with his sexuality. It seems many gay films deal with the "birth" of a gay man who is deciding to finally fling open his closet door. This has become a predominant genre in GLBT films over the years. Surprisingly, Just a Question of Love feels fresh despite its popular theme. The movie has very little nudity, but it packs a lot of naked emotions into a well-acted, touching story about a college student who finds himself confronting his parents with the truth after a long period of deception. It asks the hard questions, and it has a bravery few films have. I find it ironic that the best gay films I have seen lately have all been foreign. This French entry surpasses any American movie I've seen in the genre because it feels real and honest. Nothing is played for shock or exploitation, which is a nice change.
Laurent (Cyrille Thouvenin, seen in the French TV miniseries version of Dangerous Liaisons) is a twenty-three year old botany student who has been in mourning for a year since his gay cousin died. His family disowned his ailing relative because he was gay, and now Laurent is deceiving them by living with a girl and pretending to be straight. He meets Cedric (Stephan Guerin-Tillie, seen in the recent French TV miniseries of The Count of Monte Cristo), who is an out and proud researcher living with his mother, who knows he is gay. When Laurent and Cedric fall in love it creates complications for both men, who are unsure how to handle each other given their different circumstances. Cedric pushes Laurent to tell his family he is gay, but Laurent is (correctly) afraid that if he does come out, his parents will never accept him or his choice. One man fears the consequences, and the other fears it will hold their relationship at a standstill.
What's unique about Just a Question of Love is that it shows both men having selfish motives for wanting Laurent to come out or stay safely in the closet. Neither one is completely right or wrong, and we're left watching the grays swirl together in a world where nothing is black and white. Both men have problems; there is no instant solution to their emotional conundrums. You could easily compare this film to Latter Days, a US release that takes the same situation to an extreme by making one man a Mormon missionary and the other a West Hollywood hottie. But in Latter Days things quickly escalate to extreme drama; with Just a Question of Love things stay firmly planted in the realm of real life. Both of these men are from the same world, and religion is not as much of an issue as love and respect within their families. The movie examines not only the impact of homosexuality on individuals, but what it does to the people who love them. The friends and families are not derivative abstractions clinging on to fundamentalist religion, but real human beings who are not homophobic. Homosexuals are fine in theory; they just aren't ready for one in their family.
It's a damn smart film with a lot of great performances. The two leads are convincing, and are just regular guys. They don't look like underwear models, but are still cute enough to be appealing. I love European GLBT films, because they forsake the American ideal of having everyone look like they spent all day waxing and working out at the gym. These are just two men who happen to love each other. All the actors in the supporting cast are as real and believable as the two leads, too. The role of Carole, the pretend girlfriend, is fully realized in a sensitive portrayal by Caroline Veyt. She is stunning, and it's also nice to see the "fag hag" role played by a beautiful blonde. She is hanging out with Laurent because she loves and cares for him, and not because she's an overweight wallflower. Eva Darlan (Femme Fatale) plays Emma, Cedric's accepting mother. Her performance is breathtaking as she explains how she reacted when her son told her he was gay. All around it's a strong cast working from a strong script, with good production values for television.
Picture This offers Just a Question of Love with a beautiful transfer free of any technical glitches, and no extras at all. I was a little disappointed we have nothing to support this fine film, but kudos to them for putting it out in the United States. There are quite a few distributors here in America that usually only offer GLBT films with a lot of nudity or some shock value, but here they offer a solid film with no scenes used purely for titillation. They certainly seem to take their films seriously, and have made some heady and strong choices on what to release. This one certainly wowed me.
It's real, honest, and a brilliant film. Just a Question of Love offers no easy answers when it comes to coming out. The movie unflinchingly shows the hard truth that often life outside of the closet is just as scary as it was inside. The performances are first rate, and the script is well written. You couldn't ask for a more enjoyable experience for the GLBT community on DVD. No question about it, I loved this film.
Incidentally, I have seen Latter Days, and that movie can't even be compared to this one; the gulf in quality is that wide.
Also, the point is made in the review, but one of the best things about this film is how evenhandedly it portrays both sets of parents, how it crystallizes the feelings of coming out and the feelings behind accepting or denying someone who is doing so. If ever a film should connect those three camps, this one stands a pretty damn good chance of being the one.
Highly recommended for both people who are struggling with coming out, and for people who know people doing so.
I've just finished reading David Gerrold's "The Martian Child", of which a movie adaptation starring John Cusack has been made.
Gerrold's book is the second book that I've finished in as many weeks, the first being John Scalzi's most readable "The Android's Dream".
This - the reading of two books in as many weeks - is quite remarkable. For me, that is. I believe I have not managed to do this since junior college.
Of course, neither book has been quite "The Line of Beauty", or even "Never Let Me Go", so it might just be my choice of books at play.
And then there is also the fact that for the first time since, well, for the first time ever, I have no easy access to television.
Which is somewhat unfortunate for someone who's now a TV blogger (by the by, the blog has been launched - we shall see how it does).
But I find that I quite like it - the not having of television.
Every day when I come home, I pour myself a drink, settle into my comfy cushioned chair, and either watch a Netflixed DVD or read a few more chapters.
These days it's been getting colder, so I wrap myself up in my quilt as well.
And it's all been just - if I may, content-ing.
The kind that cannot cook spaghetti to save his life, apparently.
Yes, I believe that warrants a 'wa Wa WAAAAAaAaaAAAa...'.
This guy has some of the most beautiful photographs of NYC I've ever had the fortune to see. Just... wow.
I've been Netflixing random LGBT movies, and boy do a lot of them really really stink. I mean, I still sometimes feel something fuzzy by the credits, but the stinkitude is such that I just can't intellectually switch off.
Work at Tor Books has settled into a comfortable, if somewhat numbing routine. I arrive at work between ten and ten-fifteen, muddle around on the computer checking my various email accounts, and then stare at the towering shelf of slush that doesn't seem to have changed since day one.
Okay, perhaps that is a minor exaggeration. With three interns chipping away at the piles of manuscripts, we have managed to put a noticeable dent into the uneven piles. But considering the rate at which we chip has begun to slow of late, I suspect it won't be long before the shelf is full again.
The slowing down of our slush-kill is perhaps to be expected. At first it was fun and fun and fun, but then I suppose we each at some point recognized the neverending-ness of blah. It really doesn't matter where the author is originally from, whether he's an astronaut or she an English major; there are a lot of people out there who just are - middling. And those are really the heartbreakers, because they're not bad enough to be rejected out of hand, but they don't do anything to inspire interest beyond the first page.
I've personally rejected well over hundreds of manuscripts now, from women who have written paranormal romantic trilogies, to brothers who must have posted their novels on the very same freaking day. There have been police officers and high school math professors, retired veterans and even prison convicts, lawyers, doctors, bookkeepers and scientists, astronauts and middle school students and grandmas with nothing to do.
It's gotten to the point where I can honestly predict a blah manuscript from the very first freaking blah paragraph. Of course I usually read the damn thing for at least three more whole pages, but my batting average has gotten very good.
And these are perhaps the coin sides of slush-reading. You get a fine sense of what makes for boring, but that's a negative skill that doesn't really teach anything substantial. It's like learning the ten ways that a person shouldn't swim, but knowing only those still won't help get you anywhere.
I suppose, right now for me, that's why I feel like I'm treading water. After half a semester's worth of mostly blah, every half an hour of slush these days, I feel like I have to take a break or I'll lash out at something. Because how do you begin to fix the problem of blah?
Thankfully, every once in a very long while I get something that actually makes me sit up straight. There have only been two so far, but one looks like it might be headed for recommendation, and the other simply hasn't been read by the other interns yet.
Thank the writing gods for those.
The past few days I've been really agonizing over the throughline of my novel. And today it finally came to me; I finally know what my novel is, and where it's going to end.
To give this post a background: I've been working on an outline for a novel; I plan to apply for a writing fellowship at the University of East Anglia. It's a really prestigious program, with graduates from the university including Kazuo Ishiguro and Ian McEwan, both authors I admire very much.
I'll probably describe the outline of the novel in a later post.
Well. That was a shocker. Apparently it's not a joke.
Well. Go you, J. K. Rowling. I wonder how Warner Brothers will react.
Okay, I admit it. In the past, every time I read about somebody being scammed, some part of me did feel that if they were stupid enough to be scammed, then maybe they really deserved to be scammed.
Those of you who've read my previous posts should know well enough where this is going. You know how I posted about feeling really lucky? Well, as it turns out, I wasn't really all that lucky after all.
Long story short, the mystery shopper position was a scam. On hindsight there were red flags that I should have noticed. To my credit, however, there were also a fair number of things in place that reassured me otherwise. So on the 'did the scammed person deserve to be scammed?' scale, I guess it could be called a somewhat balance in my case, if not leaning in the 'yes' direction.
To answer the obvious question that immediately comes to mind (or, at least, the question that I hope immediately comes to mind): yes, I'll be fine. My brother offered to bail me out, so I'll be fine for the time being. I'll need to find a new job - and then some - to make back the lost earnings and the money I've been loaned, but I think I will be able to manage that.
What really stings here is not even the humiliation or the embarrassment at being taken for a ride. What really stings is that this is not supposed to happen in New York. I've had (more than) my fair share of financial problems in Singapore, but I've always managed to keep them in Singapore. Although I left Singapore this time with an outstanding debt, that wasn't by any means my choice. I did have the money to repay the loan, but the person refused to take the money. So, in effect, every time I've left or come back to New York, I've either been financially sound or actually even cushioned.
But this whole sorry mess means that I'm working from a position in the red - right here where it has never happened before. And while this may not practically be any different, psychologically it's very disheartening. It almost feels like no matter where I may emigrate to, financial problems will follow me thereafter. Which is bullshit, of course - I've been okay every other time I've been here - but that is what it feels like.
On the bright side, I suppose this makes my life slightly more interesting, albeit in a rather sad way.
Stop taking Comparative Directors classes. Even though they're usually the ones that fulfill my major and schedule requirements, I really, really don't care for them at all. And/Because I don't do well in them.
Yes, unfortunately this is not a random observation. This post is courtesy of yet another trainwreck'd C.D. midterm.
My brother's boyfriend died several months ago from cancer. My brother's been coping with it since then, and several days ago he wrote on his blog about what it's like surviving a loved one's death.
And what happened after the post? Some motherfucking jackass leaves this comment:
Juan Paulis Says:
October 14th, 2007 at 12:29 am
I don’t care for queers. Being gay is wrong in the first place and you know it.
Juan Paulis (if that's even your real name), I doubt you realize what a jackass you are, so I'm telling you now that you are indeed one. Even putting aside your 'not caring for queers', it's beyond the pale to attack a grieving person on said person's blog.
I'm putting this up on this blog because I hope when people Google you they see this post. (Of course, that's if you even merit such attention in the first place, which is highly doubtful.)
Walking to work, and suddenly hearing faint strains of the Sesame Street theme song? Then seeing that the song is being blasted from a Harley driven by a bearish leatherhead? Then watching, transfixed, as the Harley weaves and wends through a park and proceeds to serenade the entire neighborhood?
Doing some mystery shopping at a Wal-Mart, then exiting to hear a girl not more than five asking people to support the local cheerleading team? And seeing that the girl is holding a donations box while being hoisted up by her mother?
I get it now, I really do. There's just so much random beauty here (and in Jersey), so much passion and belief that is all to do with community and not with pragmatism or practicality, that sometimes you just have to wonder why not more people are brought up like that.
I received a job offer a couple of days ago, and I took it. I think it's going to be my final job of the semester, and I'm fairly happy with the way all the pieces have jigsawed.
The first job I accepted was an internship with Tor Books. I applied for the internship in June, while I was still writing for Digital Life, but I wasn't called for an interview until I came back to New York. That was in late August. I can honestly say that I wow'd at the interview, so when the internship was offered I took it knowing that I had earned it. I started work in September, and so far the internship has been very productive and fun. I think I really got lucky with this one. I had done no research on the company's internships, and lately I've been hearing from friends that my experience is atypical. I have classmates working at Rogue Pictures, VH1 and a couple of theaters and independent film companies, and I understand that large companies have little use or duties for interns. That is, duties not related to coffee-making or dry-cleaning or photocopying.
To be sure, photocopying is a staple of my internship, but I've also learned many other things. Like how a contract is negotiated; what determines the size of an advance; and other nuts and bolts of the publishing industry. Add to that a daily dose of wackiness thanks to the ever-growing slush pile, and I think I have one of the best possible internships that anyone can get. Of course, any contacts that I make will undoubtedly be helpful in the future.
The second job I got was with the university. Because I had already determined to move off campus, I wanted to make sure that I'd have enough money. Unfortunately Tor Books doesn't pay interns, so I thought I'd look for an on-campus job. I initially wanted to work in the library proper, but the job I ended up getting - working the counter in the library's media center - has so far been easy and helpful to my schedule. I'm not taking that many classes this semester, so I've been able to finish all my readings in the downtime at this job.
I also realized that I quite like the service industry. I like helping people get what they need, although sometimes I do wonder whether I'm overcompensating for not being a social whiz outside work. But the bottomline is, this job gives me a steady income, fellow NYU students like me helping them, I like helping my fellow NYU students, and my bosses like me for that. So it's a giant like-you-like-me orgy, and I'm getting paid for it. Which is not a bad position at all to be in.
The next job I took was with Gay.com. As I've written about it before, I won't go into great detail here. The website is set to launch at the end of the month, so hopefully reception will be good.
And finally the last job: which is the one I accepted only a few days ago. It's a mystery shopper position, which is great for a number of reasons:
1) I get to buy things and keep them, all on the company's tab.
2) I get a transportation allowance, which I think I might be able to save on.
3) The salary is unbelievable.
On a purely dollar-per-hour basis, this is the job that undoubtedly pays the most. By a very, very large margin. Of course, it sometimes necessitates some traveling, but that is really nothing compared to the benefits. I've already received my first assignment, and while it isn't particularly glamorous, it does solve a few household-item-buying problems. And I'm sure that future ones will include testing some swanky restaurant. (Fingers crossed here.)
So that is my job list, at least for this semester. I'm fairly certain that I can keep all but one (Tor) in my remaining semesters. Two out of them - Gay.com and mystery shopping - are on my own time, so it won't be too hard to work out an internship and library work schedule. Besides, I'm only missing seven classes in three semesters to graduate, so I'm going to ease up on academics and load up on work credits instead.
Why would you call yourself "Insomnia Pharmacy" if you don't intend to stay open past midnight?
I was in a Duane Reade today, standing in line to pay for my mineral water, when I saw a poster for The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. As the title suggests, it's about a group of kids who take part in a spelling bee.
The poster was all right, featuring a nerdy looking kid on a stage. But when I read the tagline for the play, I couldn't help feeling a little slapped-in-the-face.
Said tagline was something along the lines of: 'This play is second to noun'.
Now, I'm not saying I don't understand it, because on some level I do understand it: it's a play on the word 'none', and nouns are involved in spelling bees.
But what on earth does the phrase actually mean? It doesn't mean anything. It's just a stupid, nonsensical play on words.
I remember reading a headline when I was writing for Digital Life: the story was about a teenager who works at a hawker center when he's not at school, and the headline was "Juggling pots and pens". Now, that's a good headline, because it's a play on words that actually makes sense even if you don't know what the wordplay is. But "second to noun"? What the heck?
And I've actually seen similarly asinine taglines and headlines elsewhere, both in New York and in Singapore. To which I can only say: some marketing people really should be working behind the counters in MacDonaldses instead.
I opened a manuscript in the slush pile today, and this is what it was:
A SUBMISSION FROM AMBER BENSON.
Amber Benson, aka Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Kill me NOW.
...with all the supplies that come with tackling the slush pile. True, it would be a very specialized shop selling only paperclips and folders, but there would be so many varieties of both I think I could make it work.
Seriously. I must have nicked maybe twenty folders already, and countless more paperclips. Go, free stuff!
I'm officially a TV blogger for Gay.com. Which is a big deal, considering the website's membership runs into the millions, and considering it is the largest LGBT site in all of America.
The entire process started a couple of weeks ago. There was an announcement on the homepage of the site, asking people to apply for a writing position on the upcoming affiliated TV blog.
I wasn't going to apply, actually, because I was at that point realizing that I'd probably have to take on a second job. Between the internship at Tor, classes, and two jobs, I didn't know if I would have the time or energy to contribute to the blog.
But then on the night before the deadline, I mentally smacked myself and decided to give it a shot. I think it was the massive exposure that this gig could give me, that really made me up and change my mind.
So, that night, I roughed up the required documents: a recap of an episode of a current show (I chose the finale of Brothers and Sisters), and an opinion piece (I decided to go with one on the resurgent Baldwin brothers).
Then at work the next day I polished the pieces a bit more, and probably sent them in on the cusp of the deadline.
Then I didn't hear from them for the longest time, not even for days after when they said they'd pick their writers by.
By the time I got the first email expressing interest, I'd really already given up hope.
But now, a bio and a contract later, I'm officially going to be writing for the blog!
Not only good for getting great TVs, but also for the following headline:
DOES YOUR CLAIRVOYANT CHILD WANT TO BE THE STAR OF A DOCUMENTARY?